BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO: THE BENEFITS OF ANGER
“Some few couples (who get a divorce) are fortunate; they merely drift apart. Childless, or with children who are grown and gone, they see less and less of each other, develop other interests, perhaps other lovers, and one day admit to each other that they should no longer be married. But for most people it is not so; there are a thousand strands of affection and habit, of duty and loyalty, holding them together even after they have come to desperately desire escape.
No wonder, then, that ordinarily sensible and well-behaved people become enraged over trifles, say vicious things to each other in thick and alien voices, slam doors, break dishes, suffer vomiting spells or diarrhea. Anger is the knife with which they slash away at the remaining bonds, and free themselves.”
This is an excerpt from The World of the Formerly Married by Morton M. Hunt. Hunt’s observation is spot on not just for married couples, but for many individuals who break up who are not married, but have lived together or have been in long-term relationships. So don’t be surprised if you are angry. Anger may be necessary for you to get over doing what needed to be done.