An Elegant Way To Disagree from “The English Patient”

What You Say When You Disagree: An example from the movie “The English Patient”
by Gene Griessman, Ph.D.

Here’s an extraordinary example of a skillful way to disagree. Mind you, it will not work if you are not very well read. The participants in this exchange were highly literate.

In an early scene in the movie “The English Patient” Katherine Clifton meets Count Almasy, with whom she will later have a torrid affair.

Katherine tells Almasy that she has read a monograph that he has written, and compliments him on his lean writing style–that he uses few adjectives. Almasy thanks her, and replies: “A thing is a thing, no matter what you put in front of it…fast car, slow car, chauffer-driven car. It’s still a car.”

Without missing a beat or saying, “I disagree, ” Katherine replies: “Love…romantic love, Platonic love, filial love….quite different love, surely.”

If you want to use this technique when you argue, instead of saying, “I disagree,” simply start giving examples that counter what has just been asserted.

You can also adapt this model when you negotiate.  If a realtor, say, tells you all the positive features of a property, pause, and say “Needs new roof, new AC, walls need repainting…all reasons for a lower price, surely.”

–Gene Griessman is an internationally known keynote speaker, actor, and consultant. His video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, contact us at 404-435-2225 or abe@mindspring.com.

Don’t leave just yet. Check out at least one other article. You’re already here. Why rush off? Whatyousay.com is full of good advice from very wise individuals. You’ll be a better communicator, and more successful if you invest more time here.


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“Not only does Griessman give us Lincoln quotes, but he also weaves each one into a little jewel of an essay on that particular subject. In addition, this small volume contains “Biographical Notes” on the main figures cited and also a Bibliography of the sources quoted.” —Wayne C. Temple, Illinois State Archives

A stirring, inspirational treasury of quotations from our greatest and most admired president, the book offers rich material for interpretation, reflection, and spiritual guidance. In these pages, Lincoln, famed as an orator, shares his wisdom on courage and determination, compassion and compromise, tolerance and tact—the essential traits that define character. The timeless impact of his words is as powerful as the achievements that have helped to make him an American hero.

We’ve found numerous phony quotes on popular websites and quote books. Every Lincoln quotation in this book is authentic.

 

 

Gene Griessman is an internationally known keynote speaker, actor, and communication strategist. His book “TheWords Lincoln Lived By” is in its 23rd printing and “Time Tactics of Very Successful People” is in its 43rd printing. His training video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions and annual meetings all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, call 404-435-2225. Learn more at Atlanta Speakers Bureau or at his website. His latest book “Lincoln and Obama” has just been released by Audible.
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