Don’t ask for a specific day or event.   She may already have plans.  If she does, and she says No, it’s difficult for you to know for sure whether she just doesn’t want to go with you, or if she would like to,  but has a conflict.

Keep in mind that she may not be a skillful communicator,  and won’t know how to let you know that she’s interested.  (Here’s a tip for the girls: If you really want to accept but have a conflict, suggest an alternative day or event.)

Here’s a good way to ask.  “Would you like to get together for coffee…or tea…or a drink?”  I offer several options, with a smile.   She may not drink coffee or alcohol or tea.   You want to know if the No is about you, or if it’s about the choice that you offered her.

Here’s another good way to ask:  “I would love to take you to a favorite restaurant of mine.   Would you like that?”   Again, don’t be too specific about the date, because you are testing the waters to see if she’s interested in you.

If she says Yes, then ask when would be a good time.  If she selects a date that’s far into the future,  she’s probably not very interested.  Maybe not, but it’s not a good sign.   I may probe a bit about the date, but if all the signs are unfavorable, I mentally move on.  –Jonathan

Gene Griessman is an internationally known keynote speaker, actor, and communication strategist. His book “TheWords Lincoln Lived By” is in its 23rd printing and “Time Tactics of Very Successful People” is in its 43rd printing. His training video “Lincoln on Communication” is owned by thousands of corporations, libraries, and government organizations. He has spoken at conventions and annual meetings all over the world. To learn more about his presentations, call 404-435-2225. Learn more at Atlanta Speakers Bureau or at his website. His latest book “Lincoln and Obama” has just been released by Audible.
This entry was posted in Relationships: dating, divorce, family, and friends. Bookmark the permalink.