How To Encourage A Child, And Why
“The encouraging attitude communicates, ‘You are capable–go ahead and try.'”
“It is important to understand that encouragement means helping our child to meet his goals and not our goals….At times people do not recognize the difference between praise and encouragement. They may even think of praise and encouragement as the same process because they both focus on positive behavior.”
“Praise–focuses on desires/wishes of persons other than the child (parent, teacher, scout leader).
Encouragement–focuses on the child’s ability to manage himself/herself.”
“Praise–rewards only well-done, completed tasks.
Encouragement–provides recognition for effort and improvement.”
Examples of encouragement/What You Say:
“Thank you for emptying the dishwasher. That made my work easier.”
“I like the way you handled that problem.”
“You are meeting so many new people during your class election. Whether or not you win, you must feel good about yourself for running.”
“When you are listening to a child, concentrate on his feeling and message. Communicate with your very being that you are present and attending. Make contact with your eyes, following him closely without interrupting. “
(Power statements are in bold.)
Excerpted and adapted from Don Dinkmeyer, Ph.D., edited by Eileen Shiff ”Experts Advise Parents: A Guide To Raising Responsible Children, NY: Delacorte Press, 1987