What To Say To Your Child About Divorce or Death

Use Questions When You Talk To Children About Divorce or Death, And Then Listen, Really Listen

We found excellent advice in an article written by Earl Grollman, D.D.    The following post is adapted from that article.

When explaining divorce , parents should avoid minute detail.  Instead simply say, “You’ve watched us for a long time.  You’ve seen how unhappy we have been.  Have you noticed this? ”

Let the youngsters talk.  It is important to gain an understanding of their perception of the situation.

“When explaining death or divorce, one of the most important parental responses is often nonverbal.  If a parent holds his youngster’s hand, the child will feel warmth and really know that he is not being abandoned.”

Source: “Explaining Death and Divorce” by Earl Grollman, D.D. in “Experts Advise Parents” edited by Eileen Shiff  (Delacorte Press, NY: 1987)

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